Consistency, rather than random acts, makes kindness the norm

For all the wonderful good it does, one day of random acts cannot make up for 364 days devoid of kindness. We can and should be aiming for deliberate and consistent action.

At Kaleidoscope we put kindness above all else, it’s codified, we try to embody it every day. It’s not a one-off. References and reminders that, collectively, we have committed to kindness are everywhere you look. Not literally, it’s not wall art (thankfully) but it is one of our values, it is written into our purpose to ‘build a future that is kinder, more connected and joyful’.

It is the first requirement in our job ads. It is one of the formal assumptions that we make of all Kaleidoscopers and the behaviours we expect from them.  We have seven principles that underpin all the decisions we make, the first of which is ‘Kindness above all else’.

Harder than a hashtag

So you might be thinking we just spend our days plaiting each other’s hair and tweeting #BeKind. But actually, it’s pretty hard work. We get asked a lot about how kindness works in action, what does it require in practice. Basically, it requires commitment and accountability.

Scrolling through instagram (for work, obviously) I follow many fit people (again, for work). One thing they nearly all advocate is that the way to achieve a glowing, toned and fit physique, is to make small changes but to keep doing them consistently every day. A random act of gym going isn’t going to do it. Consistency will.

Here are some of the consistent acts we expect from each other.

Kindness isn’t the same as being nice

Niceness isn’t the same as kindness. Niceness involves doing something that is pleasing or agreeable. But kindness is doing something that is actually helpful to others, it might not be pleasing or agreeable.

One of the things we encourage and expect from each other at Kaleidoscope is feedback. We are a learning organisation, so we have a universal expectation that we will both ask for and give feedback.

Giving feedback kindly definitely doesn’t mean that we only share the positive stuff. It requires us to be sensitive to what individuals find constructive, giving specifics and tools to help, and doing it at the right time.

Kindness generally isn’t random 

Random acts of kindness day is a gorgeous reminder of the many ways we can, and should, make kindness the norm. But it’s also important to be intentional. Be kind to yourself, we only have this one precious life so think about the best way to expend your energy. It is also a choice, it is how you show up for each other, so it’s not an easy option. But we consistently hold each other accountable for our commitment to kindness above all else.

Kindness doesn’t mean pretending everything is ok

Is it easy to work in a famously high pressure sector, in a non-traditional way, with no hierarchy? No. Do we always get along and agree? Also no.

A lot of people and places think that keeping things positive is an important aspect of kindness. But the belief that no matter how difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset is actually pretty toxic.

Yes, of course there are benefits to being optimistic, but maintaining a cheerful façade at the expense of honesty, transparency or feeling safe to raise concerns is not only counterproductive, it can be dangerous.

Psychological safety means people feel able to raise concerns. It is the belief that you can speak up with questions and ideas, or admit a mistake without being punished or humiliated. Again, it’s not the same as being nice. It’s about being open, honest and admitting when stuff isn’t working.

Ambitious for kindness

There’s nothing wrong in having a day to hold open doors for people and give compliments to strangers, but let’s be more ambitious and intentional about how we operate in a kind way. That requires holding people to account – like we do in our feedback and learning. Looking critically at the power structures – like we try to in our decision-making processes and the transparency that we have about our salaries. And putting in place policies, like our recruitment for kindness, that mean that treating people kindly is baked in.

I have no doubt it would be easier and quicker just to shut up and put up, but it’s not how we want to work. And we know we haven’t got it perfectly right, it’s a learning experience and one we want to share so we can get better and help others on a similar journey.

So, if you’re interested in finding out about our approach, or you want to tell us what you’re doing to embed intentional kindness too, then get in touch!