Joy to the world! Kindness and connection at Christmas can come in unexpected places

As we sang, the smell of mulled wine and cinnamon drifted over from the Christmas Market, Londoners on their busy commute paused to listen, tourists sat on the steps and watched intently.

It was pure joy – not just because of the season, but because of the community that comes from being part of something bigger than one individual. The power of the music to lift us up, the satisfaction of having worked and rehearsed to get there. Afterwards, I asked my other half how it was – he said “you looked so happy!”

My journey into the choir started during a tricky time

Although I am no stranger to performing – I spent my youth in amateur dramatics, musicals and choirs, I even studied French and Drama for my undergraduate degree. My job has always involved confident public speaking and holding the attention of a room. I regularly join new groups where I don’t know anyone and I just crack on with it. But, when I first gave a choir a go, shortly after lockdown ended, something very different happened. I felt awkward, overwhelmed and in a rising panic. I left after ten minutes.

the community that comes from being part of something bigger than one individual.

Outside I berated myself for bailing but also concerned about the effect that social anxiety was having on me.So this time last year – as a New Year’s resolution – I decided to give another choir a go. I joined a local group and haven’t looked back.

I’m not the only one. At our Christmas meal together, people shared stories of how the choir has helped them:

• the 80 year old lady who – having lost her husband – said ‘it helped her be happy again’, finding new friends and people to help her in other parts of her life too.
• the recently retired married couple, who take delight in organising our group’s social activities as a focus and purpose.
• the 55 year old whose children have recently flown the nest, finding joy in something they did long ago.
• the mid-thirties therapist and parent of a toddler who spends all day helping others and has that one evening a week for a chance to fill up their own cup.
• the sixth former, who enjoys singing alongside their mum and younger brother, before they head off to university next year.

Young, old, all walks of life. It’s a community. That community is what really sits behind the kindness, the connection and the joy – those three things that really matter to us here at Kaleidoscope.

Kindness

The kindness is felt in how inclusive and welcoming it is. As the work of the Kindness in Healthcare movement shows, ‘there is a growing body of evidence that consistently shows that positive relationships and kindness are at the very heart of our wellbeing’, this choir has no auditions, anyone can join.

Whether you are a professional opera singer, a former am-dramer or can’t hold a note for toffee, it doesn’t matter. Everyone is invited and welcomed without judgement. Most people don’t attend with others; they know the group offers a friendly face to welcome newcomers. They want others to come and experience it, not to block them out.

Connection

There are no solos, no lead roles, just the choir. Whether in unison or harmony, it involves groups singing their parts so that together it sounds and feels amazing. There is a strong sense of connection to each other and to something bigger from working together.

Connection to the audience is crucial too – Trafalgar Square aside, most of our performances are local events, in hospitals cheering up long-stay patients, in town squares, at summer fetes. The National Academy for Social Prescribing produced a report that highlighted the role of the arts in social cohesion and civic pride. A sense of togetherness that sits above the stresses and strains of economic, commercial or political divides.

Joy 

The power of music and expression is a source of wellbeing for all ages. The charity ‘music for all’ cites resources about the positive effect of music on people living with dementia, or on the development of young children, boosting creativity, self-esteem, discipline and offering a life skill. This time of year is marked by song – many uplifting and playful, some offering space for quiet reflection. Either way, joy and powerful emotion comes from singing, playing or listening to music.

So, my one New Year’s resolution that stuck is one I’ll continue to be grateful for. “We’ll take a cup of Kindness yet, for the sake of auld lang syne.”